free write

Ive been thinking a lot about the future. A few days ago it just hit me that high school is over and i’m going to be just working since i’m taking a gap year. All i’m happy about is i’m not going to have to wake up at 6 anymore. Waking up early is what i hated the most honestly. It was even worse when it was one of those nights where i could not sleep at all. Somehow i would be able to stay up all day in school but once i got home i slept till 9 or even later. I was also thinking about i won’t get to dress up at much anymore. If i end up working at the mall or something I could but i still have no idea where i’m going to work yet. Since the pandemic hit it’s a bad time to be working right now. I’ve been waiting for this to happen for this to get better so i can start applying again. I’m honestly grateful i never got hired anywhere I applied to before the pandemic because it’s definitely risky to be working right now. I was also thinking about how my last summer vacation is going to be boring. It’s definitely still going to be risky to go anywhere this summer.  It’s funny because for my new years resolution i said i was going to go out more often. I had plans on going to the city in spring but it had to be cancelled smh. I was so excited too because i made a list of all of the places i wanted to visit at the city. It makes me sad because the last time i went to the city was last summer and i had no sleep that day. My biggest mistake ever because we had to walk and it was so hot. I was honestly going to faint it was so bad. I just have to worst sleeping schedule in the summer :(. It was a lesson though, always get that good nights sleep. I just cannot wait for things to get better and everything reopens again. 

one thing I miss the most

Since quarantine happened and most places are still closed I have been looking at room decor and clothes most of the time. If you don't know me, I like to buy secondhand meaning going to thrift stores or buying secondhand online. Mostly thrifting though because its way cheaper. Im struggling to not buy from these Etsy grandmas because they over price vintage decor for wayyy too much. Im talking about stained items for about $45 and more plus expensive shipping. Somebody take their Etsy away immediately. You could find that same exact item at goodwill for $3. It really takes a while to find a good deal online. Shipping is what makes it so expensive. A small rant though. I really hate how savers really increased their prices. Personally for me, it doesn't affect me. But for the people for rely on thrift stores because they can't afford new clothes does. Since thrifting got really popular prices just increased. It makes sense because its business but they should've been more thoughtful for the people who who won't be able to afford it. Like the last time I went to savers I found a $70 jacket, really? This is a thrift store calm down with that price. Jackets there are the most pricey which sucks because again theres people who rely on thrift stores because they can't afford a good jacket anywhere else you know. 

a rant perhaps

This is basically things that i’ve been thinking of these past couple of day’s & sorry if it’s messy. I’ll start off by saying black. lives. matter. Still can’t believe black people are being killed just because of the color of their skin. Black people are just asking for basic human rights and there’s still people saying but... Also tired of people saying “all lives matter” No. All lives will matter once black lives finally matter. How do you not see the problem here? Throughout american history we see over and over again black people getting discriminated against. So many videos throughout the years of cops killing innocent black lives just because they felt “ threatened” UNARMED id like to add. Not just a few weeks ago white people were armed and yelling at cops crying over haircuts. What did the cops do? Nothing. Suddenly they didn’t feel threatened. How do you not see the problem??? Breonna  Taylor, we cannot forget how police shot her 8 times while she was asleep. and guess what? THE POLICE HAD THE WRONG ADDRESS. THEY MURDERED HER. and her MURDERERS are still free!!! NO CHARGES YET. How could you even argue against that??? When say ACAB i mean ALL. Don’t care if your dad is a cop either. They chose to be part of a racist, corrupt, and unjust system. Tired of seeing these videos of cops kneeling down. That’s just BS to me. If they actually cared they would simply quit being a cop. Seen a few videos of cops actually quiting and joining the protests. THIS is how it’s done. If you’re on twitter you’ve probably seen those videos of cops kneeling down. Then we get an update about how those same cops tear gassed and shot rubber bullets at the protestors. Like you can’t make this stuff up man. Also sooo many videos have come out of cops just beating people WHO WERENT EVEN PROTESTING. like this one man just walking back to his car just get dragged by a cop for no reason. Stop defending cops!!! they do not deserve sympathy!! Stop ignoring these problems. Stop staying quiet when there’s still innocent black lives getting MURDERED. It really bothers me how people are just posting unrelated things like nothing is happening. YOURE PART OF THE PROBLEM HERE. It doesn’t take much to just post useful information on social media now. I’ve been reposting information in ways you could help the BLM. Petitions, Where to donate, black businesses you could support, etc. THAT BLACK SQUARE THAT I SAW PEOPLE POSTING IS USELESS. I swear people really posted a black picture in ig with not even a caption. The same people who were silent the whole time too. Funny thing is they posted that but stayed silent the rest of the day + the next day.... you’re weird if you think this is just a trend!! Here’s another thing that bothers me, how you uglies who use the n word more than black people are silent too...  And the funny thing is, when you call them out for it they get soooo defensive . “ iM hIsPaNic” ok? You saying it makes it no different from a white person saying it. It was a word white people used to degrade black people. BLACK PEOPLE reclaimed that word NOT HISPANICS. Just because your black friends here in brentwood don’t care doesn’t mean that every black person you meet is going to be cool with you saying that. Since you love that word sooo much speak up atleast???? Y’all love black culture soooo much but when they need our help.... crickets.... When one of your family members are being racist.... crickets..... If you can’t call out your racist family members you’re part of the problem as well. Older hispanic/latin people are very anti black. Don’t pretend it isn’t real either because it is. The “ all black people are criminals” is what you always hear from them . Soo... remember when MS was committing homicide here in brentwood they were the same people saying wE’RE aLL nOt liKe tHat”.. But when they see a black person commit a homicide on the news it’s suddenly “It’s always black people” Not sorry, but if you can’t call out your own racist family members for that then you’re part of the problem.