yes

Hey ladies I would like to announce that I'm over this online learning. I was starting to get the hang of sitting down, balancing everything but then the lack of motivation just hit me again. I even lost motivation to do things on Animal Crossing!!! I just want to just finish this school year already. Like seriously this pandemic was a plot twist. We really thought we were going to have a normal school year and have our graduation huh. Kinda grateful I never got employed because... Its horrible right now. If i'm being honest though i'm not really mad that our graduation had to be cancelled in June. I guess it hasn't hit me yet. Im just grateful we're still even getting one. I don't have any new life updates... Only that I changed my hair to blonde but going back to orange soon because I'm not a fan of it anymore. I really missed the orange so I can't wait. Other than that everyday has been the same, I wake up later, Clean, play animal crossing, say im gonna make up work but never do expect for today finally. Im currently writing this at 7:30 AM, this is where I would be at school right now, sitting in Spanish, eating a bagel with orange juice while listening to my amazing playlist. I seriously miss that so much. Sometimes I would just go to first period really early and eat my breakfast while my teacher plays Dreams by Fleetwood Mac. I even miss that.

me

The first week we had off from school wasn't the best tbh. But now I'm starting to enjoy it?? like being doing different things to keep my self busy, except my school work omg ( I finally got myself to do it today dw) I started to sew which is something I've always wanted to do since my mom sews. She's been sewing since her 20's and has this really old singer machine. My first creation was a ferret hammock since it was so easy to do. The ferret moms on Etsy charge way toooo much. its best to do it myself because I can decorate my ferrets cage however I want ;)). I ordered fabrics online to do other stuff which is exciting to me. I started going outside more, decorated the porch too. Even taking my ferret outside. The only bad thing about doing school work at home is how laaazy I get. Its so bad. And honestly sometimes I miss school?? even night school. I'm even starting to miss that "hey what's up" from Ms Kennedy whenever I saw her in the hallways. Honestly just miss how normal life was like 3 weeks ago lol. This virus killed my news years resolution of going out more. Hoping things get better soon <3.

When I Was Puerto Rican #2

Negi explains how everything changes when she moves to New York. It's normal because when you move countries, states, or even towns it takes time to adapt. Thats what Negi is going through right now. But she always explains how she hides her culture in school. To Negi, showing her Puerto Rican culture is embarrassing to her. She's mostly afraid being judged by others. But at home, she embraces her culture. She can't be judged at home. I see how she misses her life in Puerto Rico, thats where she really wants to be. Its really sad because a lot of kids like Negi doesn't have that opportunity to have friends with the same culture as her. Negi feels out of place just because she can't relate to anybody else. I thought we have the opportunity to share our cultures in school. You could find at-least one person to relate to here. Another thing is how diverse out school is too. So many school are not like that. Some schools don't even allow students to embrace their own culture either. I also thought about the video we saw in class about the boy who was suspended from school just because of his dreadlocks 'breaking the dress code' One thing I wish is Negi actually having that opportunity. Nobody should ever feel ashamed for being who they are. I also wished Negi had somebody to talk to about this. Somebody telling her that its okay to embrace her culture would've been so helpful. Just getting that support could've helped her become more confident. 

thoughts

I've recently have been interested in watching murder cases. Not in a weird way of course, mostly the forensics part of it. I find it funny because I'm literally talking forensic science for 3rd and 4th quarter Had no idea what that was at first. I also find it vunny how one of my forensic science assignments is to watch these types of videos. Ive literally been watching them voluntarily. Also my guidance counselor added this class last minute to my  schedule because I needed that science credit. I don't have early release anymore which sucks but ill be fine. But yes, I have been watching these cases. Mostly cold cases. What I find so interesting is how cases from like the 70's or 80's couldn't be solved only because they didn't have the technology to do so. But now since every have become so improved, so many cases have been solved. Also many innocent people have been put in prison for a crime they didn't commit because of eye witnesses claiming it was them. Now if evidence was left like a fingerprint, it could be tested now and identify who the real suspect was. So many innocent people sent to prison for a crime they didn't even commit. The best part of these cold cases finally being solved is seeing justice being served. the family finally having that closure. After thinking about it, this is something I might want to do in the future, going into that forensics field. It'll be nice to know that you helped solve a case you know. Honestly never liked science, its always been my worst subject. But I was thinking about how a few teachers I've had in the past used to hate the subject that they're now teaching so why not? 

When I was Puerto Rican #1

The book I choose was 'When I Was Puerto Rican' by Esmeralda Santiago. It really shows how different every family is. We really don't know about everything that goes on in every family. Esmeralda, also known as Negi explains to us how her family is far from perfect. Negi's mami does not have a job but papi does. In Negi's culture the father is the man of the household. He's the one that provides in the family. Most of the time the wife stays home with the kids and takes care of the house. With just one parent working, theres just not enough money. Mami refused to call herself a jíbaro Peasant is the best way to describe it. But for Negi, she's fascinated by them. Doesn't even mind being called a Jibaro. In my opinion, I don't really get the how its always the man in charge of the house. Thats like being controlled by somebody to me... I can't really say much since I've been raised by my mom basically, don't really know what its like having a dad at home. I know its a religious thing too, how women have to obey their husband always. Thats what I could think when I was reading about Negi's situation at home because thats how most married couples at church are (at least the church I go to) Ive never understood it because I've always thought being independent is better than depending on somebody else for basic needs. I was happy to hear that Negi's mom was the first women to get a job in her village. She even moves her family to New York City which is even better in my opinion. More oportunites for her and her family.  

little miss sunshine

hello boys its movie review time. We watched a movie called Little Miss Sunshine in class this week. omg this family is so chaotic.I love it though. Everyone in the family have something different going on but they're all messed up in a way and have the worst luck. Nothing ever goes their way. Literally everything went wrong for them. Everyone had a bad experience in the trip. Like Dwayne finding out he's color blind, Frank seeing his ex in the store, and even the grandpa dying in the motel. The worst moment to die. I wish the grandpa would've been able to see Olive perform at the beauty pageant. He would've been so proud. The beauty pageant was the funniest scene ever. Olive starting off as they shes dedicating her performance to her grandpa. Probably everyone thought she was going to sing a song or dance but no. Its her stripping to "Super Freak" I saw nothing wrong there honestly. I would say Olive had the best performance and least obnoxious. They started off the beauty pageant to children half naked but okay. Cutest scene every because the family finally came together after just insulting each other throughout the trip. This movie funny moments and a few life lessons too. Don’t ever be a loser!! I rate this movie 11/10 because it made me laugh. Honestly if that guy from The Office is in it it must be funny. I enjoyed this movie and it’s my favorite movie that Ms.Kennedy has shown us so far and I hope she keeps on showing this movie to her students every year.

liFe

Yesterday was a productive day for me. I got 8 hours of sleep finallyyyy. Sleeping late is such a bad habit of mine. I just get so distracted with my phone and the tiredness goes away. Yesterday was a easy day in school too. Basically listened to music the whole day. I love music man, i seriously cannot go a day without it. Especially in a school day. The few times i forgot my ear buds I was so miserable. Anyways i’m really excited about christmas. I got gifts for my boyfriend and my mom so far. I got my ferret a new set up for his cage lol. I honestly want another ferret... pretty bad. I’ve been really thinking about it a lot recently. I understand that it would be double the work like cleaning the cage and i have to really pay attention to them. They’re literally kids. I think I can actually do it though. It'll be worth it to me. Maybe in a few months i’ll be able to, hopefully ;)). School has been so easy lately man. I really made some changes and it’s going great. I’ve been doing work in lunch and anytime i have free time in class. I’ve been really proud of thattt. I’ve been feeling really good about myself these past few weeks. I cut my hair a little yesterday after many months of not cutting it, oops. I cut more than i was supposed to but it’s fine anyways because hair grows. I feel like adults don’t understand that hair grows over time lol. I remember begging my dad to let me cut my hair for an year.If im being honest, i don’t see why you have to give your hair THAT much value. Hair will always grow back. If i wanted to i would let it grow but i’ve been cutting it for the past 3 years. But omg, i decided that during the break i’m going to dye my hair to a bright orange. Hopefully i willl. I’m pretty much obsessed with the color orange right now. Not sure what color i’m going to dye my hair next but we’ll see ;))).

spotify wrapped 2019 boys

Honestly Spotify wrapped is one of the few things I look forward to all year. Basically spotify gives you your top 5 artists and songs you've listened most all year. Dude I saw the Apple Music version and it was the ugliest thing I've ever saw. Spotify will always be #1 for me. Anyways my top genre ended up being rock. Its not really a surprise to me because I've always loved different types of rock. I even grew up listening to latin rock as a kid since my dad also loved rock. I was mostly into modern rock in middle school. It wasn't until 10th grade I started to listen to classic rock. I don't know but it really took me a while to really enjoy it. At that time I preferred to listen to rap like Brockhampton (2017-2018 when they were actually good lololol.) Until of late December of 2018 I gave classic rock another chance. Thats when I started to listen to The Beatles. LEGENDSSSSSS. I really enjoyed their music this year. Just getting into this genre made me want to listen to more. 146 new artists is a lot. Like i’ve never heard a songs by The Doors before. They were one of those that took me a while to really enjoy too. I won’t forget last year when i had Mr. Chamberlin he had a doors poster. It’s pretty cool because back then i didn’t know anything about them but now a year later they end up in my top artists lol. Which makes me wonder what other artists will I discover, will I enjoy another genre more than classic rock, will I find another artists that'll be my #1 next year? we'll see next year. 

The music always influenced my style. I really just wore whatever I want. Pretty much since middle school I had that confidence. I had an emo phase 7th-8th grade. Tbh used to only wear black and some emo band tee. My favorite jeans were these hot topic jeans that were ripped and also had buckles on each rip. Pretty cool pants tbh i would wear them but they don’t fit me anymore smh. I remember getting stares but that shouldn't really matter honestly. If you feel comfortable wearing it then there shouldn't be a problem. 1 person that really caught my attention was George Harrison. That man really had style. and I really look up to him for that. 2019 was pretty life changing and hope 2020 will be even better. 

Blog #7 getting my life together

I haven't been really responsible these past 2 months in school. My junior year I was that student that handed in everything on time and just had everything together. Now I always say "ill do it later" and then never do it. Recently report cards came out and I knew I could do so much better. I got used to my grades being 90 and above because of my junior year. I have decided to manage my time and not procrastinate. I started doing that this week. First, I finally started to wake up earlier for school. It's silly but I literally woke up so late everyday and only had 15 or 10 minutes to get ready. I can't ask my mom for a ride like I used to because her work schedule changed and she doesn't have time anymore. Also my bus comes earlier than usual which makes it worse. Secondly, I went to my guidance counselor to talk about changing Spanish 4 but there was a deadline for that, which I didn't know. Well since I couldn't I just decided to sign up for the seal of biliteracy so I can at least get something out of that class. I just know that'll be so helpful in the future. 

I went to a field trip to a pre k which is something I thought I would ever do. For some reason kids just don't like me :-(. But I thought I would give it another chance, who knows I might actually enjoy it. I ended up liking it actually. The kids were so kind and respectful. We pretty much just played and ate for the 3 hours we were there. I would've added pictures of the trip but we weren't allowed to sadly. One thing that was scary though, the kids have a huge sandbox and have real rocks ( not a good idea ) in there and one of the kids threw a rock with full force that almost hit my head. So happy it didn't. I also found out this trip helped me get the 3 hours of community service that I needed. Its so relieving because I don't have to think about it for the rest of the year. I don't even have government yet so this trip was definitely worth almost getting hit with a rock. 

If I Ever Raise Children...

Children isn't something that I want honestly. Maybe in the future I might change my mind. But If I ever decide that I want children then most likely I would rather adopt a child rather than me actually giving birth. Based on other women's experiences with being pregnant that I've heard, I don't want to go through that. Thats unnecessary stress that I don't need in my life. One thing that Ill never do as a parent though is show my children hateful views towards other people. Some kids from my generation are homophobic, transphobic, or racist just because of their parents views. These are the people ill probably tell my kids to avoid. I could never be around somebody with negative views. Imagine being bothered by somebody just being themselves. That could never be me. You people need to think for yourselves and start accepting people for who they are. 

(Literally has nothing to do with this blog but check out these possums in costumes.)

I want to be that parent to show children love and not hate. Kids can be easily manipulated if you just teach them hate. Why would any parent want that? This is a cycle that must be broken now. These negative comments could affect another kids life and not feel accepted for who they are. This is really just thinking about others too. We need to stop and think about not just yourself. This could also be your parents too. In many cases kids are afraid to be themselves just because of their parents who aren't accepting. This can be emotionally and mentally damaging for a kid or teen. This is something that ill never do. Like why would you want to make your own child feel that way and not feel accepted at home? That could never be me either. My point is that if I ever have kids, ill show them how to love and not hate other people and to always respect too. We should all know that kids are sensitive and that parents need to learn how to be more accepting and understanding. 

Look Past By Eric Devine

For a few weeks now I've been reading a book called 'Look Past' by Eric Devine sometimes on my free time or in class. The good thing about this book for me is that it keeps me entertained when I read it. Its surprising for me because I'm never entertained by a book. I also never made time to read books either. So far I've read up to chapter 6. These few chapters is mostly about two main characters named Avery and Mary. Avery is a transgender boy and really has never had somebody who has accepted him for him. He's always been rejected by everyone. Adults and kids his age. He's always had a good relationship with this girl named Mary. Why? because she was the only girl who accepted him for who he is. They've had this bond since they were little kids. Avery never had a good relationship with somebody else before, especially from a girl. He's always had feelings for Mary but never actually told her how he feels about her before. I believe what held him back was Marys father. Marys father is a local pastor thats very strict of course. He's transphobic and has made rude comments about Avery. Avery makes it very clear that he hates Marys father too. 

this is me reading

After Avery tells us about his relationship with Mary, he then talks about the present. Avery has recently found out that Mary has gone missing and nobody knows where she went. Things get worse later. Its been discovered that Mary was murdered and the killer is still on the loose. This brings a lot of worry and panic in town. Anybody could be murdered next. Avery wants to know who did this or why but everyone is having a difficult time finding out who the murderer is. Not many clues either for me to find out who it was either. So far I've been enjoying this book and I do want to know what happens next.